


Before I Go (Jared Kleinman X Reader)

by iamRemedy



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Awkward situations, Confessions, Connor and Evan are friends, Connor is alive, Crushes, F/M, Love, Love Confession, Parties, Reader drinks fruit punch cuz she's smart, Reader is awkward when it comes to feelings, Romance, Underage Drinking, Zoe gets drunk, fite me, le gasp, pining?, teenage love, wink wonk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:51:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamRemedy/pseuds/iamRemedy
Summary: Zoe gets drunk and announces your insanely embarrassing secret to Jared. You must deal with the aftermath.





	Before I Go (Jared Kleinman X Reader)

It was embarrassing.

 

Why did your best friend Zoe have to get drunk at a party and stand up on a table, just to sing  _I Wanna Dance With Somebody_ and divebomb into the crowd while screaming, "(First Name) (Last Name) wants to dance with Jared Kleinman 'cause she's in  _looooove_ with him!" 

 

And that was how you died. 

 

Okay, not really. But in the moment, you really wanted to be dead. Or like, anywhere but at that party where Jared was staring at you with a mortified look on his face, his mouth hanging open. You couldn't blame him; you were making the same face. You guys had been best friends longer than you and Zoe, so of course this was awkward. And it wasn't like he felt the same. How could he? He saw you as a little sister, a... a family friend. 

 

That thought alone brought burning tears to your eyes. You couldn't look at him anymore, so you ran. You ran all the way home and collapsed on your porch. But you woke up the next morning in your bed, and you could only assume your dad carried you in. 

 

You spent the last week of school avoiding him. He hadn't even tried talking to you, or approaching you, so that made it a whole lot easier. But you couldn't help but be sad about the whole thing. He was your best friend, after all. And you guys just stopped hanging out, stopped playing Mario Kart in his basement, stopped throwing rocks at cars— okay, maybe that was for the best. To say the least, you missed him. But... you just couldn't face him, ever. Never again. But you really missed him! And you hated that! Why did you have to fall in love with him?! 

 

So now, here you were. Dropping your red solo cup full of Hawaiian Punch as that train of thought zoomed through your mind. No no no, you couldn't love him. You couldn't. You didn't, hah. You didn't love him. Ha. 

 

You sighed, sinking down onto the staircase, not even worried about the small mess you'd made. Connor and Evan had ditched Zoe's end-of-the-year (well Evan had been dragged my Connor) bash for a dangerous rooftop party, and you sat there watching the female Murphy talk to.. Jared. About you, maybe. Probably not. You hoped not. 

 

You wanted to leave, though. You wanted to join Connor and Evan at that rooftop party. Surely, it'd be better than sadly gazing at your lost friend who you were convinced you had no feelings for whatsoever. But there was just one problem... How were you going to get out without Jared seeing you?

 

You hid behind the railing of the stairs, watching. Waiting. Waiting for— yes! Zoe grabbed Jared's arm, and the two left the room. 

 

You let out a sigh of relief as you cautiously made your way down the stairs, skulking towards the door. And you were almost there. But you just  _had_ to look at Jared, didn't you. 

 

He was leaning against the wall with an arm around a girl from school when he caught your gaze. He seemed to straighten up a little bit, his lips parting as he leaned away from her. Zoe was nowhere in sight, and you had no help. 

 

You yelped, averting your eyes, preparing to make a run for it. You decided against it and inhaled sharply. "It's gonna be fine," you told yourself.

 

You made a beeline for Jared and the girl, a nervous grin on your face. You were blushing furiously, redder than Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary.

 

"H-Hi, guys..!" you exclaimed, looking at everything but Jared. 

 

"Oh, hi, (Your Name)!" the girl beamed. Apparently she knows you.. "You enjoying the party?" 

 

"Y-Yeah, you know it," you chuckled nervously, making awkward little finger guns as your gaze finally met Jared's. You tried to cover up your deep frown with an exaggerated cough, your face becoming an even darker shade of red. If that's even possible...

 

"Ooh! Why don't I get you a drink!" the girl beamed. "Hold mine, Greg." She handed her cup to Jared before walking off.

 

"It's... Jared," Jared mumbled, but she obviously couldn't hear him. 

 

The two of you stared at each other's feet for a moment, before you managed to look up at him and utter a small, "Uh..." Then, you both blurted something out. 

 

"S-Sorry," Jared said. 

 

"No, it's— you're fine. Go ahead," you insisted, waving a hand way too quickly. 

 

"What— What did you say?" 

 

And then another unhealthy dose of awkward silence. 

 

"You look... nice," you said, suddenly, mentally facepalming.  _Why did_   _I_ _say that?!_

 

"Oh," Jared said. "You, too..." He lightly punched you on the arm. "Friendo." 

 

You blushed and laughed stupidly, "Whatever." You looked into his eyes before bolting.

 

This led you to the kitchen.

 

You sighed sadly and pulled out your phone, dialing Connor's number. "Hello?" came his voice after a third ring.

 

"Hey, Con. It's... It's (Your Name)," you said, picking at the hem of your graphic tee. Jared loves graphic tees...

 

"Oh, hey, (Nickname)," Connor said nonchalantly. "How's it going with the Insanely Annoying Jared Kleinman?" 

 

"We can barely make eye contact," you mumbled sadly. "And it's all because of your friggin sister." 

 

"Yeah, sorry about that..." 

 

"And now Jared thinks I'm in love with him." 

 

"Yeah, but, aren't you?" Connor asked.

 

"What?! No!" you scoffed, almost dropping your phone. "I-I... maybe  _once_ , okay? But it was just a crush. I just.. I can't lose him. H-He's my best friend, a-and—" 

 

"Hey," Connor cut you off. "I believe you. But you should talk to Jared before you leave for art camp. Aren't you and Zoe leaving at eleven tonight, or something like that?" 

 

"Yeah," you said, rolling your shoulders, running a hand through your hair. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right, Con." 

 

"I always am!" Connor exclaimed. "Now, go get 'im! See ya." 

 

"See ya." And you ended the call. 

 

You exhaled and cracked your neck, leaning against the wall as you scanned the area for any sign of Jared. And there he was, talking to Alana Beck of all people. 

 

You nodded to yourself. Ten minutes until you and Zoe had to leave. "All right," you said. "Let's do this." 

 

"Did you know that the flames of a campfire are the visible light emitted by electrons decaying to lower energy levels?" Alana said excitedly as you walked up to Jared.

 

"Um, yeah, that's... interesting," Jared replied, though he seemed lost in thought. 

 

"Also..." 

 

You drowned out the sound of her voice (sorry, Alana) and tapped Jared on the shoulder. He seemed startled for a moment, until you asked, "Jared? Do you... have a second?" 

 

Jared grinned. "A second what?" You stifled a laugh, and his grin settled to a small smile. "Yeah, we... we should talk." 

 

You nodded and grabbed his hand, which he was noticeable flustered by, and pulled him towards the stairs. "Let's go where it's quiet." 

 

As the two of you sat on the bottom step, Jared exhaled, "Okay." 

 

You set your hand down on the step, unintentionally placing it over his, but neither of you made a move to pull away. "Jared... I know things have.. changed." 

 

"Definitely," he commented.

 

"I wanted to talk to you so badly after Zoe said... all those things," you continued, "b-but I was so scared. I thought avoiding you would be the best option." 

 

"Yeah..." 

 

"I just... didn't want everything to be different, but it is and it's all my fault. And I really miss you, Jared. I really, I.." 

 

"(Your Name)," Jared stated calmly, cupping your cheek to wipe a tear away with a small smile. "I... miss you too." 

 

"Really?" you asked, wearing a goofy smile. 

 

"Yeah. You're my... best friend." His eyes drifted downward. "But I..." 

 

"Jared?" 

 

"I..."

 

You could feel him shaking, and you quickly wrapped your arms around him. "Hey, it's... it's okay." 

 

He let out a shaky laugh that sounded more like a sob, and you could feel your heart break. "Friends?" he whispered. 

 

You squeezed him tighter. "Friends." 

 

"Why don't we sneak out and go to my place and play some Mario Kart in my basement?" Jared asked with a toothy smile as you two parted.

 

You smiled at the idea before you remembered. "I... can't." 

 

Jared's smile dropped. "Why... not?" 

 

"I'm leaving for art camp with Zoe in about five minutes," you said, exasperation visible in your tone. You buried your face in your hands, shaking your head. "I'm so sorry, Jared. I was so dumb. We could've spent my last week together if I'd just talked to you sooner!" 

 

"Hey, hey, it's fine," Jared assured you, prying your hands away so you could look at him. His eyes sparkled, and you'd be lying if you said you didn't want to kiss him then and there. "I'll see you before you leave, and that's all I could ever ask for. At least you won't be gone and feeling guilty, and I'll know that when you get back, we're friends again. After art camp, we can play all the Mario Kart in the world." 

 

You laughed, wiping the rest of your tears away. "I love you, Jared." 

 

Jared's smile fell a little. "Yeah, I mean... what're friends for, right?" 

 

 "I—"  _Buzz!_ You jumped at the sudden vibration of your phone in your pocket. You took it out, raising an eyebrow at a text from Zoe.

 

 

"hey! look up!" it read.

 

 

So, you looked up and saw Zoe at the top of the stairs. You blushed, mentally hoping she hadn't been eavesdropping. 

 

 

"I'll see you before you leave," Jared said with a soft smile, giving your shoulder one last pat before walking off.

 

 

"See you," you sighed, watching as he walked away. 

 

 

"You ready to go?" Zoe asked.

 

 

You nodded, trudging up the steps. 

 

 

"So how'd it go with Jared?" Zoe asked, opening the door to her bedroom, where all of your stuff was. "Does he feel the same way?" 

 

 

"I... I didn't tell him," you murmured, zipping up your suitcase. 

 

  


"What?!" Zoe exclaimed, making you grimace. "You can't just leave for the summer without telling him. He deserves to know." 

 

 

"I..." You furrowed your brow, stuffing a toothbrush into a different bag. "Yeah. Yes. He does! I-I need to tell him, right now!" 

 

  


"Make it quick," Zoe said, looking up from her phone. "You have two minutes until we have to leave. Connor's outside with the van." 

 

  


You nodded, running out the door. And then you found yourself standing on the stairs, scanning the crowd of faces for someone in particular. Before you could back out, you shouted, "Jared!" The crowd fell silent.

 

 

Jared broke through, a concerned look on his face. "(Your Name)?" 

 

 

You hopped over the railing, landing gracefully on a mattress that had found its way into the living room. "Jared, I need to talk to you," you said, your voice fragile.

 

 

"Of course. Is something wrong?" he asked. "You were, uh, pretty loud. Everyone's staring at us.." 

 

 

"Yeah..." You tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You looked at Zoe, who was now at the end of the staircase, barely managing to carry all of your stuff. You knew she was there in case you needed to leave immediately. She nodded, and you heard your heart beating in your ears. You faced Jared again. "I don't know how to tell you this..." 

 

 

Jared's eyes widened. "Please don't tell me you're dying." 

 

 

"No!" You exclaimed. "No. I'm not dying.." 

 

 

"Then... What's wrong?" 

 

 

You closed your eyes, inhaling deeply. When you opened them again, you said it: "Jared Kleinman, I am in love with you." 

 

 

The crowd erupted into gasps, but you ignored it. You had only a little time. You had to tell Jared everything.

 

  


"I didn't want to tell you, because I know you don't feel the same way, and I thought the feelings would go away," you scrubbed your eyes a little more, sniffling, "but they didn't." 

 

 

Jared seemed to be at a loss for words, his lips parted and his eyes wide. 

 

 

More tears welled up in your eyes. "And I know I'm just your family friend—" 

 

 

That's when it happened. You don't remember if it happened slowly or quickly, but it happened. Jared Kleinman leaned forward and placed a hand on the nape of your neck, kissing you so deeply that you could've sworn you forgot your name. You remember closing your eyes and melting beneath his touch, a mix of gasps and cheers sounding from around you. And when you pulled away to breathe, you remember seeing Jared with his eyes closed and a smile on his face. And when he looked at you, you knew he felt the same.

 

 

But then you kind of panicked. 

  


 

"Bye, everyone!" you all but screeched, running. Running out of the house, Zoe at your tail. You hopped into the van and told Connor to floor it. And you cried when you looked back to see Jared on the porch, a petrified look on his face.

  


 

Holy shit. 

 

  


How were you gonna fix this? 


End file.
